الضيف السئيل قاعد على قلبه-اللهجة السورية
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كان يا ما كان، في بيت عتيق بدمشق القديمة، عايش أبو صالح، رجل مسن بيحب الهداوة والروقان. بيوم من الأيام، فاجأه ابن أخوه من السفر، "سعيد"، وهو شاب طايش وسئيل، دمه ثقيل وما بينحمل، وقاله: "يا عمي، جيت لعندك وتكريماً لخيّك، بدي ضيفك شي جمعة زمان لحتى ألاقي شغل." أبو صالح، بحكم أصوله، رحب فيه وقال: "أهلاً وسهلاً، البيت بيتك." بس يا سيدي، مرت الأيام، والجمعة صارت شهر، وسعيد قاعد بالبيت ليل نهار. لا شغل ولا مشغلة، بس أكل، نوم، ودخان أرجيلة، وكل تصرفاته وضحكاته بتجيب الهم. البيت انقلب فوق تحت، وراحة أبو صالح راحت. صار أبو صالح يتقلب بنومه، ويحس بضيق بصدرو، وكل ما يشوف سعيد ممدد عالكنباية وسمع طريقته السئيلة بالحكي، يحس كأنه جبل انحط على صدره. بيوم من الأيام، قاعدة أم صالح عم تحكي مع جارتها، ونقلتلها حالة أبو صالح: "والله يا جارتي، أبو صالح مو بخير، والسبب هالسئيل ابن أخوه." الجارة سألت: "خير، شو صايرله؟" ردت أم صالح بأسى: "ابن أخوه السئيل قاعد على قلبه، ومو عارفان كيف يخلص منه! هالولد صار داء ما إله دواء، وثقل دمه عم يخنقنا." سمع أبو صالح هالحكي من ورا الباب، وزاد همه هم، ودمعت عينه وقال بقلبه: "صادقة يا أم صالح، الولد مو بس بالبيت، هاد صار سئيل وقاعد على قلبي حرفياً، وماني عارفان كيف أطلعه من صدري ليرتاح البال!"
The Annoying Guest Sitting on His Heart Once upon a time, in an old house in ancient Damascus, lived Abu Saleh, an elderly man who loved quietness and peace. One day, he was surprised by a visit from his nephew, Saeed, who had arrived from out of town—a reckless and annoying (se’eel) young man with a very heavy and unbearable personality. Saeed said to him, "Uncle, I’ve come to stay with you, and in honor of your brother, I’d like to be your guest for a week or so until I find a job." Abu Saleh, true to his hospitality and traditions, welcomed him and said, "You are most welcome, make yourself at home." But sir, the days passed, and the week turned into a month. Saeed was sitting at home day and night. No job, no work—just eating, sleeping, smoking a waterpipe, and every single action and mannerism of his brought distress. The house turned upside down, and Abu Saleh’s peace of mind was gone. Abu Saleh began tossing and turning in his sleep, feeling a tight constriction in his chest. Every time he saw Saeed sprawled out on the couch and listened to his obnoxious, annoying way of speaking, he felt as though a mountain had been placed right on his chest. One day, Umm Saleh was talking to her neighbor, describing Abu Saleh’s condition: "By God, neighbor, Abu Saleh is not well, and the reason is this annoying (se’eel) nephew." The neighbor asked, "What's wrong with him?" Umm Saleh replied with sorrow: "That annoying nephew is sitting on his heart, and he doesn't know how to get rid of him! This boy has become a disease with no cure, and his heavy spirit is suffocating us." Abu Saleh overheard this conversation from behind the door. His worries doubled, a tear came to his eye, and he said to himself: "You're right, Umm Saleh. The boy isn't just staying in the house; he has literally become annoying and is sitting right on my heart, and I don't know how to get him out of my chest so my mind can finally rest!"